72 Hours of Estrogen Fueled Fun Leads to Crazy Mama Drama

I am still reverberating from 72 hours of out of town gymnastics fun! All gymnastics, all the time, perfectly befitting the More is More Mom®. Amanda and I were really looking forward to our road trip. We packed a basket full of our favorite snacks, borrowed the audio book Shopaholic Takes Manhattan from the library (on last year’s road trip we listened to Confessions of a Shopaholic……..a book which I ironically own two copies of, and could never quite bring myself to actually read because it hit too close to home (especially the excerpts where you find poor Becky Bloomwood opening her Visa statements in horror), then proceeded to buy both the audio book and the film. I could write my own version……. Shopaholic takes Winsome, IL.), and of course two Venti hot chocolate’s from Starbucks. My gal is the loveliest, dearest and most charming girl I have ever known. I adore her and enjoy her company immeasurably.

After four hours on the road, we pulled in to the parking lot of the hotel, with the rear of our car scraping against the asphalt. In addition to; two suitcases, a vanity case, a garment bag (so cute….pink with brown polka dots, to protect the bejeweled and bedazzled $180.00 competitive team leotard and lest we forget the matching team warm up suit), my laptop, Amanda’s tote bag full of fun things to do, and 5 bottles of wine (I am willing to share with my friends. I hope I don’t appear to be a total booze hag, but I always do bring more wine than I alone will consume to safely ensure that I will have enough…..72 hours is a lot of gymnastics); I also brought provisions for the team pizza party…..for 100 people. There were 70 bottles of water, 72 cans of pop, two cases of candy, napkins and plates, and my friend and I still had to run out to pick up 70 mini cupcakes once we got there! 100 people consume an enormous amount of food and beverages, hence the 20 extra large pizzas.

 

 

Most of the moms I know are great; encouraging and supportive of the girls, coupled with a healthy dose of reality and sense of good fun. Then there are the other kinds of moms. It doesn’t matter what activity your child participates in……. you’ve seen them, you fear them and you try like heck to avoid them. Some sports, like gymnastics, or I imagine cheer leading, figure skating and dance, have not only that competitive edge, but also a sense of pageantry, which can bring out the worst in people, ala the crazies on TLC’s Toddler’s and Tiara’s.

Let’s just say 3 days, 40 girls, their mothers and close quarters does not necessarily bring out the best in all people. If you have seen the brilliant Tina Fey’s film Baby Mama, or have been a voyeur of the traffic accident that is reality television, then you are familiar with the term: Baby Mama Drama. Well, this weekend we witnessed what I will forever refer to as: Crazy Mama Drama.

Oh, good Lord. The whispering, the gossiping, the crying…………. and a few of the mothers were worse! Here’s the deal:

1. If you pay an expert for advice, take it, meaning: if you pay for coaching, let the coach make the decisions
2. Stop the irritating e-mailing and texting
3. Stop stalking the coach at the bar. In most instances, it all comes down to your child’s effort and performance…... and that, my friend, is up to them
4. If your daughter has a problem, help her develop skills to solve it herself
5. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS A MOTHER EVER TO CONFRONT ANOTHER CHILD
6. If your child is feeling left out, help her to determine what role her own behavior is playing in the scenario, and how she can find a satisfying resolution
7. Keep your opinions to yourself
8. Don’t blame other people for your children’s problems
9. As I advise my pal’s: worry about yourself
10. Let’s all remember that athletics are supposed to be fun!

Crazy Mama Drama is one of the many reasons that I self medicate. To quote the prolific Amy Winehouse, “They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said; No, No, No.” I hope my daughter survives the perils of being a teenage girl, and I hope my liver survives it too…..